Somersaulting

I went swimming in a pool yesterday. Pools aren’t my preferred body of water to take a dip in. I’ve always preferred the saltiness of the ocean; a lingering reminder of my salt-soaked childhood on my little island.

So—back at the pool. I tried doing a somersault. That proved to be problematic. I’ve never been the world’s greatest swimmer, but I thought, Hell, if I could at least do a somersault, I won’t have to dip my head in embarrassment when the same pool is filled to the brim with 10-year-olds who can do the butterfly like I can apply butter to a piece of toast.

Nope, apparently that wasn’t in the plans for me. As soon as I dipped my head in the water and propelled myself into a circle — in my head, I was thinking, Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog! — my nose burned and my head went into delirium. And in my head, I was thinking, not about Sonic the Hedgehog, but more like, WTF—how do the little f***ers do it without dying??? 

I must not be doing it right.

There has got to be a way to make yourself do something that feels wrong, and not feel like you’re drowning.

Oh, have I veered off track a bit?

By the way, my boyfriend has told me he wants to marry me. Yeah, like three times last weekend.

Someone please tell me how to somersault in the water.

***

A response to today’s Daily Post prompt: Phase

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