Happy anxiety*

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Anticipation Orange by Lisa Golighty

When I see the word anticipation, I think happy anxiety. Strange, I know — but it makes sense that I relate in that way. I’m an anxious person by nature.

I looked up definitions of the word, and was pleasantly surprised by how positive it was. Here are a couple favorites:

* * *

A N T I C I P A T I O N:

  1. the act of looking forward; especially pleasurable expectation
  2. visualization of a future event or state

* * *

With that in mind, here are lists of things that I,

onepleasurably expect, and

twovisualize for the future:

o n e

in the summer, to look down at my toe rings & feel instantly cheered up

a delicious ache in my muscles the day after a good & decisive workout

to meet people in whatever state and capacity they are currently at

my galoshes to keep my feet dry even as I wade through puddles

my favorite pen to always make my handwriting look amazing

catharsis & ease after writing my feelings out

* * *

t w o

my reputation amongst friends to be someone who will listen without judgment

complete authenticity in my relationships and interactions with people

children that feel secure in themselves, with my & their father’s help

a closer relationship to my heritage as a Filipina

less anger & more acceptance in and of myself

having a love that pleasurably expects me

– – – – –

*I realize now that it’s not necessary to correlate anticipation to anxiety.
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2 thoughts on “Happy anxiety*

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