I am a small, young, Asian, female immigrant. My exterior is expected to match my interior. I am expected to take up as little space as possible, while I bow my head in submission to your maturity and masculinity.
I learned these things and am burdened with the hyper-awareness that comes with constantly feeling subjugated. I learned.
When you are diminutive, you learn.
When prejudices against your generation affect how people perceive you, you learn.
When stereotypes of your race affect how people treat you, you learn.
When you have strengths, and it is “despite” your gender, you learn.
When you have weaknesses, and it is “because” of your gender, you learn.
When your life path did not start in the country you now live in, you learn.
When that is your reality, you learn.
This is not the education I wanted to partake in, as a child and now as an adult.
I have a full-blown world inside me; do they know this?
Fortunately, I have also learned how necessary it is to take up space;
to take dominion over conference tables and conference calls alike; to let my hand gestures and words consume physical and mental space —
to pull my audience into the world inside me.
This is me, eliminating doubt. I have learned to pick up a paintbrush and start painting something beautiful and badass over it.
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Daily post prompt: Doubt